21 Fools

A Closure

Written by Pratima Labroo

Above 18 - Dil Dosti aur Zindagi

Boy: In order for love to be real, it has to be permanent.

Girl: That is a bourgeois notion that you have! Nothing is permanent! We grow in and out of loving other people throughout our life, but that doesn’t make the love any less real!

Boy: Perhaps you say that because you haven’t met the love of your life!

Girl: I have, in fact, many times…

Boy:Are you are afraid of commitment?!

Girl: It’s not about commitment! It’s because I believe that nothing in this universe happens just once … nothing! Even, infinity goes in both directions. There is no unique event, no singular moment.

At this answer, the boy smiled cheekily and the girl shrugged and left…not realizing that the unique event that would make them question their beliefs had already occurred…

~ ~ ~

To the girl I once loved

I have no intentions of asking you to come back to me. I know you're doing way better without me than you could have done with me as a part of your life. And I know that once we both believed otherwise. The reason I'm writing this is that I need closure, and I feel that, maybe you need it too. I need it to clear my conscience so that I could be able to make the same promises again to someone and mean it, just like when I once made them to you. And I just don't seem to be able to do that.

She remembered that night when she had told him for the first time that she loved him, the time when she told him that she would never let him go? How that seemed like an eternity ago now.

Please believe me when I say I really did love you. I meant everything I ever said. And, I believed every bit of what you said; of all your truths and even what turned out to be my lies. I believed them as much as you did and if possible, maybe even more.

”I should have just told him that I loved him and not that I will always be with you,” she thought to herself. This was one thing she regretted. Not because she didn't feel that way; because she really did, but because of the guilt of not being able to keep her word. Even if she had known then that her life would never fit with his no matter how much she tried, she would have still told him that she loved him. “But then, I was so naive,” she thought sadly, “I believed it as much as he did that whatever happens we'll both be together.”

She still remembered his response when they had broken up.

“I wish you happiness... And I will always wish for that, no matter what!”Somehow, she had known that she would get this response from him. He was really too kind and caring until the end.

You know, many times I ask myself what was that one time when I clearly remember to have felt really happy . And no matter how hard I try I can never think beyond those moments when you were with me. I might have been happy before that; I'm sure I must have been: but it's like that those moments have erased every other memory from my past and no matter how hard I try I can't travel beyond those moments to find something remotely like it from my life before. You must be wondering why I am telling you this now when it doesn't matter to any of us. It's because I want you to know that no matter how bad things got between us and no matter how we feel about each other now, you will always be the girl I once loved; I have no regrets for being a part of your life once. I'd do it all over again if I had a chance to. But the way my life unfolded for me, I made my choice. I met someone who made me happy, once again! And I am sure you will have another chance as well. Infinity goes both ways, remember!

- The guy who loved

She hadn’t stopped being happy after he was not there with her, but it didn't feel the same without his presence. She had moved on, or at least tried to, but she could never feel the same way as she did when she was with him. She had tried to remove him from her conscious but she could never forget him. She kept remembering all the promises she had made to him but never kept. It made her see herself as a terrible person who selfishly walked away from his life just to have it easy for herself.

And even after all this time, she hadn’t been able to get rid of this guilt. She kept thinking that maybe she didn’t have a generous heart that could love freely!

She felt afraid that she would never have another chance like she had had with him.

But, his letter gave her the answer, the closure that she needed!

It was just five simple words, “You will have another chance.”

After many months of crying herself to sleep, that night, she slept with a smile on her face, faintly remembering…dreaming about something from the past, an old conversation she had had with him.